Most of the lessons I learn and remember in life, are those that happen during difficult and painful moments. That was most of my 2017. I have been holding off sharing this because it’s still something I’m not comfortable having out there, but I’ll share the lessons.
I’ll start with a back story; I got my job at Andela in 2015, and everything started looking up from that moment. I had a job I loved, I was getting the exposure I desired, I Co-Founded Tech In Pink, I got promoted twice, I was big on community, I was influencing young women, I was leading a couple of initiatives, I travelled to the US and connected with a diverse set of people, I was doing interviews, I had someone special in my life that was always supportive and most importantly, I felt like my spiritual life was getting better. I am a Christian, and I feel like I don’t say that enough.
Everything was wonderful, until June 2017, when it all began crumbling. I remember a full week straight where I was crying every night – the last time I ever cried myself to sleep that much was around 2014.
It was a hard month, and the months after were also very different from what I expected.
It’s two months into 2018 and I feel like I can begin talking about it, and I’ll begin with the lessons:
- I have learned that life will go as planned by God. God executes His will and not mine.
- I have and still am learning that people are selfish and they will fail you.
- I have learned, that if you do not take care, you will let the wrong people into your life.
- I have learned to define the circle of friends I keep around, and this sometimes means I will be lonely.
- I have learned the pain of loss.
- I have learned that life is first and foremost relational. Relationship with God, with family, with friends, with your spouse.
- I have learned the pain of multiple failures.
- I have learned to love myself over and over in my insecurities.
- I have learned to live a day at a time.
- I have learned, as a Christian, that God reveals something in my pain.
- I have learned to embrace change, to anticipate it and to appreciate every passing moment.
- I have learned and was reminded of the Sovereignty and Providence of God.
- I have learned you outgrow things.
- I have learned fame and titles are short-lived.
The past six/seven months have pushed me to a state of deep reflection, assessing different aspects of my life, redefining my goals, priorities and values and being mindful of so many things. Pain and brokenness have given me a new lens to look at life with and try to see more than simply meets the eye 🙂