I shouldn’t have.

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Minutes conceived and gave birth to hours which gave way to days and now weeks. Weeks of wondering, pondering, questioning and feeling. Emotions, such good guides but the most excellent tormentors. Every night, robbing me of my sleep to burn my heart. Burn it to its core but never to ashes, because my Emotions love to revel. Revel in every painful breath that escapes my mouth and every tear of agony that struggles to stream down my cheek. Revel in every ripple of pain the beat of my heart would send all over my body. Revel in every minute that it burned me and every minute that I was filled with a desire that would never be fulfilled. A desire that I desired to abandon but had its claws deep within me.

I know what it feels like to love and lost, but never to lose before loving. But what had I lost when I know even if I had the chance I wouldn’t run with it? What had I lost when I know having you would be a decision I would regret in a second? Your laughter still echoes in my mind. Your eyes are still crystal in my memory. I fell when I shouldn’t. I wanted who I shouldn’t have. And now, I am fighting to walk out of love that I cannot remember walking into.

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